Saturday, June 9, 2007

A.m.n.e.s.i.a - Chapter 9

"You are looking well today," Gillian smiled in acknowledgement of Kenny's comment; inwardly she sighed at the thought of how much her life has changed in the last few weeks since discovering the truth about her past. She felt like she had aged years.Regarding her parents' deaths, her guilt had finally subsided, realizing that the fact could never be unchanged.

Furthermore, she didn't want to repeat the reckless behavior that had lead to her amnesia and caused unspeakable agony for the ones that loved her. The best way to correct her wrongs were to make the best of her life, it would have been what her parents wanted her assured herself.

Along with making peace with herself, she had also made peace with her sister. Her relationship with Charlene had improved immensely as there were no longer secrets to hide. She felt closer to her twin sister than ever. The tension that once weighted their home had dissipated. They finally laughed and talked, as sisters should.

Yet, when it came to Edison, she felt uneasy. She knew she had been smitten by his charms since he first appeared in her dreams. Then when she learned of their past and his love for her, her love and admiration for him grew even more.

Most days, he waited for her after work; sometimes he would even volunteer at the community center just to spend more time with her. He often took her to various places that they visited before and told her stories of their past together, hoping to jot her memory. Except for the occasional random flashes, the past was still deeply buried, no matter how hard she tried she just couldn't recall.

At times, she would listen on to Edison reminisce about their times together, catching every single word but her mood dampened as she compared the girl in the stories with herself. She felt inferior compared to that girl. She felt undeserving of Edison's love.

The few times he brought her to his races, instead of feeling the excitement he did she was scared by the commotion, afraid for his safety. She didn�t feel the intoxication that he told her she once enjoyed.

In addition, she couldn't help wondering if he would still love her if her amnesia were to never recover, if she never reverted back to the girl from two years ago.

Kenny quietly observed the mix emotions reflected on Gillian's face.

"The more I learn about my past, the more lost I feel," she said before further explaining, "I'm nothing compared to the girl that Ed and Char describes. I'm not feisty or spontaneous. I feel like I'm letting them down."

Her last statement made Kenny frown. "You shouldn't feel that way. The person they're describing is from two years ago. What I am saying is, don't worry about who you were in the past, just concentrate on who you are now. All that counts is you are comfortable with yourself." He tried his best to sound reassuring but inwardly he was concerned that Gillian was again thrown into the pool of insecurity and confusion that she had fought hard to swim out of once already.

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Leaning on the side of his car, arms crossed in front, hands tucked underneath; Edison immediately grinned when Gillian stepped out of the double community center doors.
Her sweet smile made his heart flutter.

"Did you wait long? Why didn't you give me a call?" Gillian asked, the distance between them decreasing.

"My cell is out of batteries. But don't worry, I didn't wait long," Edison answered, opening the car door for Gillian.

They drove for about forty-five minutes before arriving at their destination, a rural area that was visually empty except for a few small shops.

Stepping on to the gravel pavement once the car was parked, Edison walked over to Gillian's side and took her hand, leading her to a small outdoor food stand with a few tables and benches on the side. There was no fancy decoration or nice furniture but the aroma that permeated the air was absolutely mouth-watering.

"Do you know why I brought you here today?" Edison asked, a small smile touching his lips.
Gillian shook her head and searched Edison's face for answers.

"We used to come here a lot," he began, "You loved the bbq pork and chicken lo-mein here especially with hot sauce. You said it's better here than anywhere else."

Gillian nodded in acknowledgement.

When the waiter arrived, Edison automatically ordered bbq pork and chicken lo-mein with a few other dishes without consulting Gillian.

After a few minutes the food arrived, Edison scooped a substantial portion of noodles onto Gillian's plate and added hot sauce.

Gillian stared blankly at her plate, inwardly grimacing at the hot sauce all over her noodles.

Edison had taken a few mouthfuls before he noticed Gillian had not made any movement toward her plate. "Is something the problem?"

Gillian took a deep breath, and looked Edison straight in the eye. "I don't eat hot sauce."

"But you used to..."

"I don't know what I used to do but I don't now," she paused momentarily, "Early last year, I had horrible stomach pains. The doctor said those were early signs of an ulcer. I can't eat food that's too hot or too sour anymore."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," Edison apologized.

"You didn't know because you never tried to know. What you cared about since we met again is having me recover the memories from our past. To have me become the Gillian that you knew from two years ago, but I'm not her, not anymore. You never tried to understand me as I am now," Gillian exploded quietly, her voice carried an eerily calmness along with a note of disappointment.

Her sudden courage astonished even herself but she knew her action was correct when she felt relieved afterwards.

She was tired of living in the shadow of her past self.

When Edison didn't react, she quickly got up. "Excuse me, I'm not feeling well."

Stunned by Gillian's sudden declaration, Edison watched helplessly when Gillian rose from her seat and rushed off toward the main road.

A few seconds later when the shock wore off, he rushed forward in lightening speed, grabbing Gillian's wrist, spinning her towards him.

Just as Gillian was about to protest a metal pipe from behind Edison caught her attention.

"Ed!" she screamed, petrified by fear.

Reading the horror on Gillian's face, Edison turned in time to dodge the hit. With his quick reflexes, he kicked the man in the stomach, sending the attacker to the ground. It was then they noticed that more men were coming their way.

"$hit," Edison mumbled under his breath, pulling Gillian in the direction of his car but the men were too fast.

Just as one man was about to hit Gillian from the back, Edison block the hit with his left arm then grabbed on to the pipe with his right hand, throwing the man onto the pavement with strength that he never knew existed.

When they reached the car, Edison only had enough time to push Gillian inside along with his keys before he had to fend off another attacker. Gillian cried desperately, trying to open the door, only to have Edison slam it shut again as he shield the door with his body.

Within seconds, a total of five men surrounded Edison, each holding a metal pipe. After a few dodges and blows, Gillian witnessed through the tears that blurred her vision one blow after another that pounded Edison closer to the pavement until he was beaten mercilessly to the ground drowning in a puddle of fresh blood. Banging on the window, helplessly protesting, she saw his eyes blinking slowly until they ceased to open again, his once ivory face, bruised and swollen.

"Ed!"

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